Ears > Mouth

As a blogger with a tiny following, I fully understand that my voice only carries so far. But it does carry, and it does mean something. Why would I write if I did not believe that my writing impacts someone?

Despite this, I have remained silent on all social media on the recent happenings in Ferguson, New York, ad absurdum. It is not that I don’t have a strong opinion on these events. However, with everyone throwing in two cents (plus some), I wasn’t sure if mine counted for anything.

The great thing about social media is that everyone is allowed to express an opinion; the worst thing about social media is that everyone is allowed to express an opinion. I have seen some serious ignorance on my Facebook news feed in recent weeks. It has served as a great reminder for why I am required to teach my students how to analyze sources and differentiate fact from opinion and commonplace assertion.

It has also caused me to fall silent in a time when perhaps we can no longer afford to be silent. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said that “our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.” As small as my voice is, I don’t want to deny its power—however small—and not speak up.

I have thought and thought about what to write on the racial tensions mounting in America. Plans have been made and scrapped and made again to conduct a discussion with my students. Blog posts have been written, trashed, recovered, rewritten, and trashed again.

But recently, I have recognized the reason for my pause in commentary and my hesitance to speak. And I actually think it is a good enough reason to be silent for just a bit longer.

Sidestep leading to the larger point: I am a good writer. There is plenty of room for improvement, but I know that people read my writing and appreciate what I have to say, in part because of how I am able to say it.

People sometimes ask me how I became the writer I am today. My dad claims he is responsible; my mom claims she is responsible. They are probably both right, and I don’t feel obligated to say that just because they are faithful readers of my blog.

But I actually attribute most of my writing skills to one simple trick: I read. A lot.

For every piece of writing I create, I have read at least 5 articles a day leading up to it. I am always eyeballs-deep in a book. I study song lyrics and good pieces of dialogue in television and movies to understand what made me connect to them. I read and read and read and read. Then—when I take a very brief break from reading—I write.

I write well only because I read well.

Tragedies are occurring in our nation. Whichever side you take in these racial debates, human beings are dying. Nothing constitutes a lack of sympathy for the loss of human life.

As a heterosexual white male who experiences privilege on a daily basis, I am in no position to understand the plight of minorities. I teach 110 students, 109 of whom are students of color, and I still have no right to pretend to understand the oppression they face in our messed-up system. I can see it, my heart can break for them, but I will never experience it firsthand.

In times when I am not the victim or part of the victimized group (whether you believe it is perceived or real), my opinion matters far less than my compassion.

To Be A Teacher
Blackout poem by Austin Kleon

It is in times like these when my ears are worth more than my mouth.

If I am to be a good writer, I must read.

If I am to be a good speaker, I must listen.

If I am to teach my students well, I must also learn from them.

Here is a simple test to explain my point:

Do you feel injustice has recently occurred in the Ferguson and New York cases?

Do you feel that racial intolerance is present in America?

Do you feel that you or your racial group is being oppressed in the current system?

If you answered NO to any or all of these questions, now is not the time for you to speak. The most important, humane, and right thing you can do is to listen.

Here’s something that may surprise you: Your opinion doesn’t always matter. Someone may have told you that growing up, but it isn’t true. Sometimes what matters more is your ability to lay down your perceptions, preconceptions, and news articles from your favorite sources and just hear someone else out.

I am not saying that your voice doesn’t matter. But sometimes, your voice matters a lot less than your hearing.

Here’s another test:

Have you listened to the other side of the argument recently? 

If you answered NO to this question (or defensively answered YES), please stop talking for a minute and hear someone out. Far too many people are speaking and far too many people are not being heard.

We are not living in a post-racial society; we never were. We are very much entrenched in outdated systems that need to be updated or completely thrown out and replaced. We cannot afford to be silent, but we also cannot afford to be so loud that we don’t hear what our brothers and sisters are saying.

I recently read a quote from Jonas Salk that struck a chord with me: “Are we being good ancestors?” For the sake of our descendants, we must come together before we fall any farther apart.

I feel like I have already said too much. I need to get back to listening before I assume my voice is the most important one in the room right now.

6 thoughts on “Ears > Mouth

  1. Sandy Yokeley December 5, 2014 / 12:03 pm

    An excellent, well-written article with a thought provoking point!

  2. Kate @ Did That Just Happen? December 5, 2014 / 3:22 pm

    Such a great point! Listening is such an underrated skill, and there are times that we need to hear before we speak.

  3. Karen Taylor December 6, 2014 / 9:52 am

    Great blog, Ben. The Ferguson situation and the several other similar incidents in recent days are signals of a major crisis in America. Keep listening and writing! xxoo – Aunt Karen

  4. surgeryattiffanys December 6, 2014 / 10:32 pm

    One of the most important aspects of my job is to listen to my patients but also to listen to what they are really saying without saying it. It is amazing what people say when they are scared, sad or angry. It is also amazing that very little is often said by me because I know they are not yet ready for more information (or sometimes the truth). It is a hard thing to teach our students and trainees because many of them are under the perception that their ‘professional’ opinion is very important. Great post, applies to all aspects of life. Life is a big learning experience by observation, reading and listening to others.

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