The Last Laugh (Old News)

New Headlines are now up in the Headlines tab. Here’s some Old News.
The Last Laugh

You saw it coming.

In a relationship with no surprises, it should come as no surprise that it would end. The realization was more of a passing thought, but announced itself like a notice to the public regardless: This will be over soon.

You wondered if it already was, but you’ve got one last chance to walk out on top. You’ve got two more days to get the last laugh.

You know that if you don’t, he will.

You know that if he ends it, you’ll be the one embarrassed. Not heartbroken, just shamed. Because how could you not know? How could you let him beat you to it? How could you go on carrying it around when you knew it was time to drop it?

And so you’re caught in a game of cat-and-mouse. Start packing your things, but quietly. If he senses your presence, he will corner you. You won’t have a way out, even if you say it first. They’ll say that you did it out of fear, or that you were out of options.

So be strategic. Wear his t-shirt to the breakfast table. Kiss him on the head as he reads the morning paper. Smile at him while you drink your glass of milk that you so carefully and deliberately poured as if you might stay forever. Then part your lips as if you’re going to say those three words, but say these instead: We are done.

Now have your laugh and go.

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